R.B.D: Proprietor of books! Are you injured? Speak to me!

YULLY: I’m probably fine. You can stop shaking me now.

Relief washes over his face.

R.B.D: Dear me, grappling you like a football took a considerable amount of energy! Hm? Do I have something on my face?

YULLY: What the heck, my sword pen! It’s lodged in your-

R.B.D: Fear not, my plucky new associate, I have sustained far worse head injuries. A mere flesh wound such as this will be easily remedied by my nurse friend back at our head office! Ah, just thinking about seeing her again fills my heart with hope. While it appears nothing at all happened and the store is perfectly fine, I exercised precaution in anticipation that this smirking storm of smugness may have gained the power to reflect. Luckily it decided to not do anything whatsoever and is floating there making weird faces. Regardless, trusting a being that foolish to merely continue being ridiculous would be folly! We must concoct a plan to exorcise this monster from your dispensary of knowledge.

R.B.D: What you see before you is a manifestation of my ego that I have dubbed “The Last Measure”. Seeking to return justice to this world, this righteous ordnance will only hurt those who intend to harm others. In previous encounters with this creature, my Bloody Ricochet dispatched it quickly and sent it hurtling back into that pitch-black expanse. Nightmares such as this are nearly immortal, and it managed to reconstruct itself by absorbing negative emotions from others. It found a way to stop my bullets by emulating empathy. My counter will be simple: fire my gun through me before the creature can react. I am endowing a portion of my will on you, thus making you complicit in this battle of egos.

YULLY: This all sounds cool and convoluted, but how can I shoot a gun that looks so...wonky? Can’t I have a more appealing one that looks like other guns?

R.B.D: I understand your consternation. It’s true that this firearm is missing the usual complement of bump stocks, laser sights and akimbos. Not a single AR, AK or MIRV; nor any bullet-warming jackets. But that is by design! Were my manifest ego to meet all of your preconceptions of what a gun should be, then I would be hurt as a result. Conform and die! Believe in me and we will live to see a new dawn!

R.B.D: No harm will come to the innocent for as long as I stand! Pull the trigger, PROPRIETOR OF BOOKS!

R.B.D: WE WILL MEET AGAIN. GOOD LUCK!

- The politician and the creature vanish into darkness -